


I could try.

by enigmaticma



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 1950s, A Racist attack, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Dubious Consent, Fluff and Smut, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Interracial Relationship, Love, M/M, Minor Character(s), Please read the tags., Racism, Read the Disclaimer, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, This fic is unbeta read for now., This have a scene about an adult having a relationship with a minor, This is a story about a kid who survived a traumatic period of his life, This is not a joke, This is not historically correct, Trauma Survivor, painful experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:21:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25600501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticma/pseuds/enigmaticma
Summary: A sixteen years old Jongin found himself intangled with a relationship with an american soldier.It came out of nowhere and only destroyed him and his relationship with his family so he fleed the country to the USA, trying to find a new life in Chinatown.Once then, he met a beautiful man named Kim Jongdae.DISCLAIMERThis story is in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM PROTRAYING ME OR MY BELIEVES, altho I believe that people who suffered such things deserve second chances and deserve to have normal healthy life. The names and physical attributes are PURELY USED for VISUAL REFERENCE. I don't see the real people that way and I would never wish any ill upon them.This is a pure fiction.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Jongin | Kai, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	I could try.

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If you didn't, please Check you want to read them before you judge me of anything ill. Thank you~<3

Jongin knew that being in a sexual relationship with an American soldier wasn’t going to end up well, it didn’t help that the country was already suffering and hated the U.S. army to the core. “Come with me to the U.S, we can live together, I have a small farm and it will be enough for us,” the man promised him after they fell from their cloud nine. Jongin half considered it as the pressure on his prostate was buzzing him and he knew the man will fuck him good again. 

Jongin knew he was going to suffer and he was right. His mother caught him sneaking out of the man’s tent, around six in the morning, on a summer day; she looked at him like he died in front of her or as if he became dust. It was terrorizing so he walked back in the man’s tent and whispered, “I’d love to go with you.” 

How naïve he was! The man left him by himself and went to the U.S. with no explanation. Jongin felt betrayed but decided to leave for America anyway, looking for an uncle he had in Chinatown, Los Angeles.

Luckily, they were taking people to work in mines so he sneaked in the first boat. He even worked in the boat, since his American English was far more polished than the rest of the Korean workers. He was some days a translator and some days someone’s entertainment for the night. It did help he was good looking despite his sun kissed skin, dirty clothes and inexistent hygiene.

He reached the shore before he could truly prepare an escape plan and he was okay with that. Working in a mine allowed him to save some money and he managed to buy himself clothes and soap. He made sure to wash himself before escaping the place in a bus. His English was still perfect so he managed to find his way to L.A, doing labor works here and there. He spent days in pure hunger, but the money he could save during the journey allowed him a small tour around the city. It was already a big city and he spent most of his money on junk food. When he landed on the section of the city where Asian people from all countries gathered, named China town, he was euphoric. Once there, Jongin begged people to check his uncle's last address.

He nearly threw a tantrum when the rice curry plate was handed to him. “you look exhausted,” the man spoke in English so Jongin was relieved, “here,” he bowed his head as he accepted the plate, “I am working in that curry place if you want more.” The man was about to move when Jongin stood, leaving the plat on the ground.

“Can you help me find my uncle? Please, help me,” Jongin didn’t realize how exhausted he was until he switched into Korean, “I am tired, I am hungry, I am jobless, I am homeless, please, help me,” Jongin was sobbing by the time the man looked at him, “I just want an address."

“Korean?” Jongin nodded eagerly as the man spoke back to him in Korean, “What is your name?” 

“Kim Jongin, my name is Kim Jongin,” he noticed the man observe his small luggage, “I escaped home and came with no clothes, I worked for these,” he explained as he touched his smelly clothes, “I will buy new ones, I promise, just please help me.” 

Jongin handed the envelope that had Jongin's uncle from his mother's side written on it. "That is the old man down the street," Jongin's relief was enormous, "he owns the grocery store there. You can go meet him after a proper dinner." 

“Thank you, thank you so much.” The man said nothing as Jongin sobbed his tiredness away until Jongin calmed down.

“Jongdae! Kim Jongdae, come here!” Jongin was surprised by the sudden yell and soon a man popped out of the curry restaurant the man came from. It was a small beautiful man with high cheekbones and a feline smile, “come here.”

“Yes, hyung?” Jongdae and Jongin looked at each other and Jongin felt his heart burst, “who is that?” 

“Mr. Song relative, he needs clothes, a shower and some food before going to see the old man, take him to my wife and let her know,” Jongdae nodded and smiled at Jongin who stood. Jongin kept his eyes on Jongdae the entire time so he flinched when the man grabbed his shoulder, “Don’t disappoint me.” The warning came out cold and Jongin nodded as he bowed to the old man, a bit terrified. 

He followed Jongdae who was chatting with everyone in his way, greeting them or joking with them. Jongin realized that Jongdae spoke Chinese and Thai, which are languages he learned to understand when the war tore the country. Jongin was intrigued by the man’s liveliness, observing the man’s curves and realizing that he wanted to touch Jongdae’s bums so badly.

Yet, he didn’t allow his perversion to show up. His mother’s reaction was enough to stop him from touching any Korean man. He was terrified of losing this chance too. They reached a small apartment and Jongdae knocked on the door, “My hyung’s wife is not comfortable with strangers so you should hurry.”

Jongin nodded, “I will.” Jongdae smiled warmly to him so he blushed intensively but gladly the door opened and Jongdae didn’t notice. The woman was shy and only nodded before handing Jongin food. She spoke to Jongdae mostly and Jongin was okay with that. He was too hungry to even care. He finished food in a record time only for Jongdae to laugh a little.

“You definitely are hungry,” Jongdae commented as he stood, “I’ll go to a friend’s house; he got your height so he definitely can lend you clothes. Go shower and wait for me until I come with fresh clothes, deal?” Jongin nodded and Jongdae disappeared, Jongin simply went to the kitchen, as the woman locked herself in her bedroom, washed the dishes and let them dry. He wanted to thank the woman for her hospitality so he considered it as a clear message.

He went to the shower, took off his clothes and washed them first before sitting in a small chair, filling a bucket. He didn’t want to waste the man’s water. He didn’t want to lose their help. 

He scrubbed and scrubbed until his body was all red and painful, smelling soap, when Jongdae came in with clothes. The man looked at him in shock for a moment, Jongin didn’t know why. He didn’t understand why he felt ugly either so he looked away, “your hair is so long, you need to cut it,” Jongin nodded, “here are the clothes, I will wait for you outside.” Jongin washed up and dried himself before wearing his clothes and taking the wet laundry. Jongdae was standing outside when he showed up.

Jongin didn’t dare to look at Jongdae, saying “I want to dry my clothes.” Jongdae picked his bucket of clothes and Jongin followed him to a staircase in the back of the house where Jongdae did line his clothes and the towel he used. Jongin could only bow to Jongdae, unable to take the emotion of shame out of his system.

He followed Jongdae silently and they soon were in front of an old man, who looked tired and lonely, “Uncle Do Jing, this kid says he is your relative!" The old man seemed about twice Jongin's mother's age and Jongin was more ashamed of himself as time passed to let him know who he was. Saying his mother's name was hard too.

The old man seemed to notice that Jongin was unwilling to introduce himself so he gave him a reassuring smile. “Such a good looking man you brought me, son,” Jongin blushed as the man spoke, “come close, young man.” 

“His name is Jongin,” Jongdae excitedly spoke as Jongin stood in front of the old man, “he could pass for my brother if he wasn’t more handsome than I am,” Jongin looked at him in shock, a bit offended and it didn’t escape neither the old man nor Jongdae who blushed, “take good care of Uncle Do Jing or Hyung will kill you, it’s not a warning.” 

The old man laughed, “don’t be too hard on the kid, I can take care of myself. I just need a little help here” Jongdae dismissed that and left with a lively see you soon. “Come; let me show you what I need you for.” 

Just like that, Jongin found a job and also a place to sleep in as the man offered him a spot in the storage room where Jongin asked him if he could use the mattress that lay in it. Just like that, Jongin had a life where he could be anything but himself. He never spoke about his family, never wanted to make friends and didn’t leave the old man’s side unless to deliver things to clients. He met Jongdae but spoke no word to the man, just because Jongdae’s eyes on him made him feel weird and he hated that. 

“Why don’t you go to Jongdae’s workplace and get us a few take outs?” The old man brought him back from his thoughts. Jongin looked at him in surprise as he added, “I am carving some Chicken curry and you need to eat something more than the cooked rice I give you.” 

“I…” he wanted to object but he never said no to the man, “I will go,” he forced a smile and walked out. He knew that he had to face the man who gave him the job someday and he did stand in front of the reception where the man was sitting. “Mr. Song wants a chicken rice curry and I want the plain rice one, to take out, please.” 

The plain rice curry was the cheapest and the man only looked at him skeptically, “Are you sure you want the rice curry? I don’t take money from Mr. Song; you can use that chance to try the chicken one.” 

“I don’t want to disappoint you, sir,” the surprise in the man’s face was clear, “I will pay for my part,” Jongin was about to pick the little money he had and the man stopped him. He snapped his fingers and soon a man stood by his side.

“Two Chicken curries to take out,” the man ordered and Jongin tensed, “It’s on me.” Jongin left with the takeout, a bit shaken, and returned to Mr. Song’s side. The old man was happy to see the take out and took Jongin to his house after closing the shop’s door. They ate in a happier mood since the chicken curry was perhaps the best thing Jongin ate in an eternity. 

Jongin kept his smile as the old man told him about his wife who worked in that shop before dying and that she was the one who made the best curry sauce in the world. He explained to him that the owner Mr. Kim was treating him like a father since his wife took care of him when he lost his mother. 

It explained why Mr. Kim was taking good care of Mr. Song all the time, why he gave him free food and only bought from him. “When I lost my son, he was there for me, he made sure to fill the void in my heart, and he finally sent me a son,” the man said softly and Jongin looked up to the suddenly emotional man, “having you here around makes me less lonely and happier than you think. I feel like I got my son back, even if he wasn’t as beautiful as you are.”

Jongin smiled and looked down, unable to speak. He wanted to tell the man how ugly he was from the inside, and wanted to let him see that, but he kept his lips sealed for a moment, “I am not a good son, Mr. Song, I left my family behind.” 

“I know you wouldn’t if you didn’t feel like you had to,” Jongin had to, indeed, since his mother hated him to the core, since she made everybody ignore him. He had to leave because they disowned him. 

He nodded and said nothing for a while, before Jongdae showed up in the shop an hour after that, breathless, “The immigration sent a team here! The police are coming,” Mr. Song paled but Jongin was fast to react. He pulled a piece of paper from the small luggage he had and gave it to Jongdae, who opened it in surprise, “you got a five years pass? Why?”

“I was a mine worker before I fled the site,” Jongin simply stated, “I am free to go?” 

“You need a work contract, I’ll hide you and we will settle that detail soon,” Jongdae handed him the passport and held his hand in a rush. They ran off to a hotel and Jongin didn’t have to think more as he was led to an open underground door that led to a huge room already filled with people. 

He soon realized Jongdae was still with him, “Jongdae,” the man scotched himself to Jongin at the call, patting on Jongin’s back reassuringly, “why are you here?” 

“To make sure you are safe,” Jongdae sounded a bit offended and Jongin was glad it was dark so Jongdae didn’t see the blush that crept from his neck to his ears. He was burning in embarrassment and his heart was racing as he pulled Jongdae closer. The man let out a small yip but as Jongin rested his head on his shoulder, breathing loudly enough to show how breathless he was, Jongdae hugged him, “don’t panic on me now, you are going to be safe.” 

Jongin nodded. He was already safe, surrounded by those tiny arms. He said nothing as he returned the hug and they stood there in the dark waiting. Jongdae however was chatting in a hushed tone with whoever was around him. Jongin paid half a mind to it. He was more focused on Jongdae’s voice, how soothing and melodic it was even if he was whispering. 

Jongin felt so ugly again.

He felt hideous. 

The door opened and they made it out as the owner of the place assured them the police and the immigration patrol left Chinatown. Jongin didn’t want to let Jongdae go but the man left him to talk to some men. He didn’t realize he was looking at Jongdae the entire time until a man stood by his side, “he is beautiful, isn’t he?” 

“He is,” Jongin admitted before realizing what he just said, “he has the most beautiful heart I ever had the chance to meet.” He looked at the tall man who looked at him with a smirk, “he is so beautiful I feel incredibly ugly.” That surprised the man who stepped back as Jongin walked out of the place. He didn’t realize he was shedding tears until he got in Mr. Song’s shop. The old man was worried and held Jongin close as soon as he got in, “Mr. Song…” Jongin sniffed, feeling distressed and hurt, “can I go to bed for a moment?” 

“Yes, you can,” the old man patted his head worriedly, “It’s already lunch time, I will leave you rest.” Jongin nodded and went to his small space, curling to sob silently as he heard the door close. He sobbed for a while and slept before he realized it. When he woke up, Jongdae was sitting by his side, looking at him intensively. 

“I brought you lunch,” Jongin nodded but said nothing, laying there and looking at Jongdae, “Chanyeol told me what you told him,” Jongin didn’t know who Jongdae was talking about and didn’t care.

“What did I tell him?” he sat up and groaned at the splitting headache that suddenly hit him. Jongdae handed him the take out and stood, “thank you for the lunch.” 

“Why do I make you feel ugly?” The question received no answer and Jongdae seemed upset enough not to wait for it. He left and Jongin forced himself to eat. 

The next days were eventless, Jongdae didn’t seem to change his routine and Jongin was going crazy as the time passed. He was glad he had his work contract to fix so he was busy with it. “You need to hand a copy to the immigration department, before they ask you for it,” Mr. Song suggested and Jongin took it as a chance to leave China Town. He got in the department and handed his paper to a man who asked him quite a few questions he was not afraid to answer. When he returned home, he was surprised to see Jongdae in his bed.

“Jongdae?” the man looked up and stood as Jongin walked closer, “Why are you here?” 

Jongdae said nothing as he handed Jongin a bag, “I bought you clothes,” Jongin took the bag incredulously, “I thought it was a good apology gift.” 

Jongdae fidgeted and Jongin hated that.

“There is nothing for you to apologize,” Jongin was a bit hurt that Jongdae felt the need to apologize to him for whatever he said or did, “I am the one to be sorry,” Jongin looked at the bag, “I am sorry.” Jongdae approached him and hesitantly held his hand, Jongin held it back a bit eagerly, “I am so sorry,” Jongdae shook his head and remained there.

“Why do you feel ugly, Jongin?” Jongdae whispered as he looked at Jongin’s face, “I’ve never seen someone so beautiful before, why would I make it feel ugly?” 

Jongin was stunned for a second but he chuckled, tearing up, “I’m not beautiful here,” he put Jongdae's hand on his heart, “you don’t know how bad I am. I am…”  _ dirty, filthy, a whore, a used item _ … the list went on but Jongin could only shed tears as he looked into Jongdae’s eyes. Jongdae hugged him after a moment and Jongin could only stand there and shed his painful tears. 

Jongdae eventually did let him go, saying, “I doubt you have an ugly heart.” Jongin wasn’t going to object, he was emotionally tired for reasons beyond his mind. “I think you have a tired heart,” As he heard the man say so, Jongin looked at the man who pouted to him, “you bottle up a lot, Jongin. No wonder your heart looks ugly to you. It is stretched like a balloon and it will explode someday.” Jongdae used his hands to explain it with a cute expression and it made Jongin laugh. He didn’t expect the sudden wave of cuteness and he laughed. Jongdae was pleased to hear that sound, “I love your laugh! Laugh more, deal?” 

“Deal,” Jongin smiled as Jongdae excused himself before his hyung would whip his ass. Jongin couldn’t wash off the smile even when he joined Mr. Song after wearing the new clothes. 

It was supposedly a happy day. Jongin somehow lived with the idea he wasn’t supposed to feel happy but he was. Mr. Song looked happy for him. 

Jongin was always right. He woke up the next day, to find the shop still closed and opened it, frowning at why Mr. Song would come late to work. It took him a solid hour of worry to rush up to the man’s house only to scream in agony.

Mr. Song was dead in his bedroom, holding his wife’s picture, and smiling. Mr. Song was dead and Jongin wailed so painfully hard nobody could ease him, not even Jongdae. When the man held Jongin, the younger could only scream as they took Mr. Song away, “I am all alone again,” Jongin sobbed in his spot, hurt and devastated, “I am all alone again, Jongdae. I got nobody to love me. I got nobody to care about me. Uncle left me, he left me, he left before I could tell him how much I was thankful and that I was his nephew! He left before I let him know about his own sister! Jongdae, he left!” 

Jongdae could only hold him close, “I am sure he knew all along,” Jongdae held him close and soon hands joined Jongdae and Jongin looked up to see Mr. Kim with a devastated look on. 

Jongin could only hit his head between Mr. Kim’s legs, “I failed you, I am sorry. I am so sorry. Please, punish me but let me be in the funeral,” Jongin was begging so hard that Jongdae, who ChinaTown knew as the kid who never cried, started shedding painful tears. 

“Son, stand up,” the man helped Jongin to stand and Jongin could only wait for the verdict, “you did well,” he looked at the man in shock, “I have never seen him so happy since his son died, until you came.” It made Jongin shed tears as he shook painfully, “you are a son to him and I promised him to take care of you,” Jongin shook his head at that.

“I am…” he couldn’t talk. A huge weight disallowed him from saying a word and he allowed the man to pat on his back and lead him out. The funeral went like a fog in Jongin’s mind. It worried everybody who knew Mr. Song to see Jongin in such a dull state, he refused to eat, or sleep, or even move unless Jongdae pushed him to. Jongdae led him to Mr. Song’s house, which looked different.

“Dad redecorated the place since the house and the shop became his property,” Jongin looked up, realizing something.

“Mr. Kim is your brother,” Jongdae nodded, “is he kicking me out?” Jongdae shook his head.

“You will live here as long as you work in the shop,” Jongdae assured him, “if you consider leaving, nobody is stopping you,” Jongdae paused at that, as they got in the bedroom, “but don’t leave. Please, don’t leave.” 

“I won’t.” Jongin held Jongdae’s cheeks and made the man look at him, “I have nowhere to go.” Jongdae blushed and freed himself while Jongin allowed his arms to fall.

Jongdae noticed but his own heart was racing so hard for him to do anything, “my best friends are going to live with you,” Jongin nodded, “they will pay hyung for rent, but you don’t have to. Hyung wants you to take care of the shop and keep it running.” 

“I will pay the rent.” Jongin simply stated but Jongdae ignored him and left after a while. Jongin simply left the place to sleep on his bed, in the storage room. He worked normally but every morning; he would be surprised why Mr. Song didn’t come to open the shop only to remember. He eventually used a room upstairs, in Mr. Song’s house, joining Oh Sehun and Park Chanyeol. It was easy for Jongin to recognize Chanyeol from the escape and the man tried to communicate with him only to realize how dull Jongin was. Jongin always thought so but in fact, Chanyeol was a bit scared of him.

Jongin didn’t realize how scary he looked when he was lifeless. 

Jongdae showed up one Friday, jumping around in happiness, “There will be a Chinese film in the theatre, tonight! Let us go and watch it!” Jongin was surprised Jongdae was talking to him so he blinked at him confusedly, “what? You don’t want to go on a date with me?” 

Date? Jongin nearly broke a jar of pickles when he looked at Jongdae like he grew a few heads, “a date?” Jongdae smiled and nodded, “with me? Why?” 

Jongdae acted like he was thinking, “Why? You are good looking, single, you barely leave the shop, you barely talk to anyone, Chanyeol told me so, and you need a breather! Isn’t it enough?” Jongdae approached Jongin who made sure his hands were free when Jongdae held his hand, “please come with me to the theatre tonight! Please!” 

Jongin couldn’t help and smile, whispering shyly, “I will.” Jongdae was suddenly so happy that he kissed Jongin fast in the lips and stepped back in shock. Jongin was shocked too but mostly because  _ damn he tasted so good _ , before Jongdae could apologize and leave, Jongin had pulled him to a second kiss, “I will see you tonight?” Jongdae blushed and nodded before dashing out. Jongin took a moment to realize what happened. Jongdae kissed him and he kissed him back, “I am doomed.” 

When the closing time approached, Jongin was a wreck; he quickly showered, dressed up and went down to look normal when Jongdae would show up. He didn’t expect Jongdae to have Chanyeol, Sehun and a man with them. “Are you ready?” Jongin could only dully nod and Jongdae worriedly looked at him the entire walk to the cinema. 

Jongin didn’t utter a word, listening to them bicker, “oh, by the way, this is Baekhyun, Chanyeol and he deserted Korea together when they were kids,” it made Jongin look at the two and noticed how Baekhyun tried to hide himself behind Sehun while Chanyeol just awkwardly coughed.

“I deserted Korea a year ago,” Jongin simply stated simply, “I had no longer the right to stay there.” He looked ahead, missing the shocked look in their faces. 

They got in the theatre and sat in a line with Jongin and Jongdae sitting side to side. Jongdae looked at Jongin worriedly because the man was no longer the kid who begged his father for help. No, Jongdae noticed clearly how Jongin lost most of his sparkle. It was heartbreaking. He held Jongin’s hand and the man held it back. Jongin looked at him and he blushed before smiling to which Jongin smiled back.

“You like the movie?” Jongdae whispered and Jongin nodded before looking ahead for a moment. He looked back at him and blinked when he noticed Jongdae’s eyes still on him.

“Why are you looking at me?” Jongdae wondered why too. He couldn’t take his eyes off from Jongin at all. A sudden change of scenery in the film tore Jongin’s eyes from him and he had to look ahead too. When the film ended, the guys went back to Jongin, Chanyeol and Sehun’s place, with packs of beers. They were in a good mood and soon Jongin noticed Sehun pull Baekhyun out of the house, he thought at first that they were heading home but as he went down to the shop to pick more beers, moans and groans hit him hard. He could clearly hear Sehun’s voice. He was about to run out of the place but instead, he closed the shop door as slowly as possible then walked up with the beers. Jongin was shocked to see that neither Chanyeol nor Jongdae were fazed by the couple. 

Jongdae was asleep while Chanyeol thanked Jongin, paying for the beers, and headed to his room. Jongin could only pick Jongdae to his own bed, cover him up, and pick a cover. He walked down but after counting to a hundred. He knew they will be tired and knocked the door before opening it, he could hear Sehun curse as he did, “I got you a cover,” he simply put it down on a box, “I have painkillers in the shop but you got to pay for their price,” he heard nothing so he dared to look at Sehun and smiled reassuringly, “Good night, Sehun. Good night, Baekhyun. See you tomorrow for breakfast,” and he left just like that. 

He was suddenly happy. To know someone was like him was making him happy. 

It suddenly stopped the feeling that he was all alone, he wasn't a freak of nature. He was so happy he slept on the living room’s sofa with a large smile. 

Baekhyun was the one who woke him up, Jongin was confused at that, “Breakfast is ready,” he noticed that Sehun was the only one in the table and he nodded, he stretched before washing his face and joined Sehun who served him before coughing nervously, “Jongin…” Baekhyun started only for Jongin to shake his head.

“I don’t need to be told to keep it a secret,” He reassured, “I am no different than both of you; I won’t dare to tell anyone anyway.” Baekhyun sighed in relief at that and smiled to Sehun who nodded to him. 

Sehun soon looked at him, “I left money on the cashier, for the pain killers,” Jongin nodded, smiling to him and it took Sehun a moment to talk, “you look different today.” 

“I am…” Jongin blushed suddenly, “I am happy,” he dared a look at them, “I thought I was a freak of nature because I was the only one.” Jongin fidgeted, “I thought…”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Baekhyun held his hand, “we understand how hard it is,” Jongin soon had tears in his eyes but his happy smile didn’t falter at all. It was Sunday, so Jongin technically had no job today but usually he remains open so he changed his clothes, as silently as possible to not wake Jongdae up. He was fixing his pants when arms surrounded his waist.

“What time is it?” Jongdae’s sleepy voice was so cute that Jongin smiled after a moment of shock.

“Past breakfast time,” Jongin turned to face a pouty Jongdae, “I think Chanyeol didn’t wake up yet, so take it together, I am heading to work.” He ruffled Jongdae’s hair before picking a shirt and wearing it, he dashed out before yelling a “see you at lunch!” 

He was midways through his morning when an unexpected man got in. An officer got in, “hello, Jongin,” Jongin had to sit because it was a shock for him, “it had been a while.” 

“How did you find me?” the man approached him and Jongin froze while his face paled.

The man seemed to read his mind and the terror that filled it, “I came to apologize for leaving you like that,” Jongin looked away.

“I deserved it,” Jongin bitterly spoke as he pushed the man’s hand away, “I have a clean file, I have a passport, my contract will be modified since the owner of the shop died and it was given as a property to another man. I am clean, officer.” 

The man said nothing for a moment, “I am sorry, Jongin.” He was about to leave but Jongin sniffed and he froze.

“My mom saw me leaving your tent, she disowned me and I had nowhere to go,” Jongin tried not to sob like a baby, “I didn’t come for you, really. I just had nowhere to go, and I had a family here. I didn’t try to look for you. If you tell nobody, nobody will know because what was between us remained in that tent.” Jongin looked at the man with fire burning his eyes, “I am no longer the sixteen years old kid you fucked there, David,  _ I am sorry. _ ” The officer nodded and left Jongin.

The kid’s mind was a mess before he could realize. People came to his shop and he simply nodded or shook his head because he couldn’t talk. Mr. Kim was fast to his side, “why did he come to you?” 

“He told me that the owner of the contract died so I need to get a new signature, he came to check if I was still in the shop,” Jongin tried to lie the best he could but the man obviously disbelieving eyes could only make him shed tears, “please, don’t push further Mr. Kim.”

The man sighed, “I guess we can only hope he will never come back,” the man said suddenly, “because if a police officer roams here nobody will ever feel safe. I don’t want them to blame you for that,” Jongin nodded and before he could think of it, he blurted the first thing that crossed his mind.

“I’ll leave. I will look for a job somewhere else,” Mr. Kim looked at him in surprise, “you did a lot for me, I can’t lose the little respect you have for me,” Jongin looked at the man with assurance, “I am ready to leave.” 

The man patted on his head, “I have a lot of respect for you, Jongin,” Jongin doubted it, he had no respect for himself, how can someone respect him? “Stay where you are until we fix it.” Jongin nodded but he knew it wouldn't be fixed.

He went to lunch, getting worried looks from the boys but said nothing until Sehun took him to the bedroom, “what happened, Jongin?”

“He found me,” Jongin pulled his knees to his face, “my past found me and soon everybody will know,” Jongin buried his face and whimpered. He felt hands on his back, patting and comforting.

Sehun smiled at him when he looked up, “you got to face that past someday.” Jongin knew he would and he did when David showed up, wearing casual clothes. 

Jongin didn’t even flinch when the man held his hand, “can we talk?” Jongin simply walked out of the shop and yelled for Sehun, asking him to guard the shop for a moment. He took the man to the curry shop, taking a seat somewhere hidden but under Mr. Kim’s sharp eyes.

“I am listening,” Jongin leaned back, looking at the man who seemed to age ten years, “I am all ears, David,” the man rested his arm on the table, palm up for Jongin to hold it, “I am not going to touch you or allow you to touch me,” the man leaned back and sighed, “I want you to stop coming to see me. I love my job but if you come again, I won’t blink twice before running away.”

“I don’t plan to make you run away,” the man observed Jongin’s face for a moment; “you grew up a lot, Jongin. You matured a lot, too. You don’t look like the kid I used to love,” Jongin scoffed a bit too loudly because everyone in the shop looked at them.

“You know you felt nothing, no need to sugarcoat things,” Jongin glared, anger built up, humiliation hitting his ribcage to the point he was breathless before he could speak, “you used me and threw me like an old rag,” Jongin nodded, amused, unaware of the expression both the man who sat in front of him and the audience had “yeah, I was a rag. I am still a filthy little slutty rag in your eyes, am I not?” 

“Jongin,” the man didn’t seem to expect the attack.

Jongin also didn’t allow him time to talk, “why are you here? You abandoned me, why are you here? I don’t understand the heck you plan to do, but I won’t allow you to hurt me again, David,” Jongin took a moment to breathe because he was red and shaking, he was breathing in a frenetic way, “I prefer to die, I prefer to be buried alive! Stop coming for me, stop it!” 

“I had a wife, okay?” Jongin froze, “I wanted to take you with me but her letter reached me and our son died of tuberculosis, I was…” the man looked away at that, looking hurt, “I didn’t think of anything or anyone but my son at that moment. Jongin, you have no idea what I have been through, I lost a son I didn’t have the chance to see!” 

Jongin laughed suddenly, shedding tears, “yeah? And I was kicked out of my house, taken in a boat where American soldiers took the freedom to share me the entire time like a piece of dirty cloth they wanted to wipe their ass with, because I had nobody to defend me anyway. I was a rag, I had no right. You destroyed me while knowing very well you had a family here, David, do you think your pain is enough to redeem yourself? Do you think so? I am seventeen, David. I am not even an adult yet, and you destroyed everything I had, so please stop destroying my future, stop coming, stop giving me excuses, stop it!” Jongin stood; his voice had rose octaves before he could hold it “This is my last words to you, David. If you show up in my doorway, I won’t hesitate to slit my throat in front of your eyes; maybe that way you will leave to die again, finally!” 

He walked out, ignoring the calls and got in his shop, locking himself in the storage room. He lied down, empty, hurt, devastated but also content and free. He didn’t dare to leave. He didn’t dare to move. He knew they all knew his truth and he didn’t care. 

A weight was lifted off his chest and he was okay with the consequences. He could hear knocks. He did but he didn’t move at all. 

It took them a day to break the door and get to find Jongin had lost consciousness for a while, Chanyeol fast took him upstairs while Sehun and Baekhyun covered up for him. The three men said nothing to Jongin when he woke up and he didn’t talk either. He knew what they thought of him anyway.

The dawn of a new day came and he had packed his first luggage, got money and packed food. He was leaving and no matter how he tried to not show it, something was bleeding when he closed his bedroom’s door. The house was silent as they were probably still asleep so he left quietly enough. He met people around but nobody seemed to realize what was happening as he greeted them normally, he stood in front of the curry shop and allowed his tears to fall, “Thank you for your help, Mr. Kim,” he whispered to himself. 

“Then why are you leaving,” he jumped out of his skin when he noticed the man standing by his side, “you look like the first day I met you, I think you were wearing the same clothes, holding the same small luggage, but this time you are leaving,” the man looked tensely at him, “is it because of that American?” Jongin nodded, “Did he use you?” Jongin nodded, shedding tears of shame, “it doesn’t surprise me at all, you are not the first,” Jongin looked at him in shock, “these American scum find pleasure in hurting kids or women, shaming them,” Jongin shook his head.

“I did it for myself,” Jongin’s voice was a void; the man was surprised he could even talk, “I shamed myself, my family, my country… this is why I deserted home, I shamed it.” The man pulled Jongin to a hug, patting on his back in a fatherly way.

“Go home, Jongin,” the man held Jongin’s neck firmly, “your home is here now and you can’t desert home twice, right?” Jongin looked at him briefly, “You are Mr. Song’s will to me, so if you ever had a sparkle of love for the old man, go home and stay.” Jongin did have more than a sparkle of love for Mr. Song so he sobbed as he walked back, opened the shop and sat down to cry. He cried himself to sleep.

Jongdae found him like that, and gladly Chanyeol was up to cover for him that day, since Chanyeol was a part timer and had practically no job in the morning. Jongdae and he placed Jongin in the storage room and Jongdae remained to observe Jongin’s face. It looked peaceful despite the tears that kept running down the tanned man's cheeks, “how big is your pain for you to cry in your sleep, Jongin? How big?” Jongdae rested Jongin’s head on his lap and softly caressed his hair, hoping it was easing Jongin’s nightmares. He didn’t realize he slept until the weight on his legs disappeared and he jolted awake, Jongin was sitting there and Jongdae stretched before leaning on him, “you slept well?” 

Jongin nodded and Jongdae worriedly made him look at him only to see Jongin’s broken stat, “you said that whatever he did to you remained in the tent but it looks like you carried it with you all along,” Jongin looked mortified because Jongdae knew about David since the first time the man came and pushed Jongdae softly before standing, Jongdae could only watch him wobble out of the room. Jongin bowed to Chanyeol who looked at him in pure shock.

“I am sorry to cause you inconvenience, Chanyeol hyung,” Jongin spoke lifelessly, even if a hint of sadness was obvious in his tone “I’ll pay you for covering up for me.” 

“No need, Jongin,” Chanyeol held his shoulder with a warm smile, making Jongin look at him, “I just want the Jongin I admired a lot to be back,” Chanyeol held his cheek, giving him a reassuring smile, “we missed seeing you smile.” Jongin didn’t smile or even blush at that, he simply zoned out before looking at Chanyeol.

“I forgot how to smile,” Jongin admitted before looking away, “I need to freshen up,” he walked out and Chanyeol could only look at Jongdae who was shedding two big tears. It was worse than what he imagined. 

Jongin showed up later and helped Chanyeol who insisted to stay. He worked until Lunch when Sehun and Chanyeol forced him to eat lunch. He worked until a late hour that night, uncaring of how tired he was. He slept as soon as he hit the bed. 

Chanyeol could only sigh when Sehun told him that, “I don’t know what can heal Jongin’s heart. He has been through a lot, it can be seen and none of us can erase that.” Sehun and Baekhyun looked at each other as Chanyeol left them for his bed. 

Baekhyun knew Jongdae had a crush on Jongin, they worked together and he could see the heart in Jongdae’s eyes whenever he speaks of Jongin. That day was not an exception, even if Jongdae was sad and depressed, it was all because of Jongin. “He looks like he will die from a heartbreak,” Baekhyun commented, “I don’t know how to make him smile, neither Sehun nor Chanyeol can and we tried.” Jongdae sighed in worry, as he served a table and returned to Baekhyun’s side, “I wish he could find someone to love like me , Chanyeol and Sehun,” Jongdae looked at him in confusion and Baekhyun acted like he messed up, “Oh,” he left Jongdae to work and Jongdae suddenly recalled the kisses he and Jongin shared.

He nearly face palmed himself, with a chair. 

He made sure to show up late, around the time the shop must be closed. Jongin was sitting behind the counter, looking absently ahead, and Jongdae approached him, “Jongin, can we talk?” 

Jongin blinked at him and nodded, Jongdae was glad. He pulled Jongin to the storage room as soon as Jongin closed the shop’s door. As soon as he was in the storage room, he was yanked and kissed. He was about to object but god knew how weak he was to Jongdae’s lips. One kiss and he worshiped it. He answered the kiss with an eagerness he couldn’t explain and soon he was butt down in the mattress with Jongdae kneeling in front of him, holding his face as he kissed him deeper and deeper. 

When the kiss ended, Jongin and Jongdae were breathless and Jongin’s face was brightened with a smile, “finally,” Jongdae smiled, “I made you remember.” 

“Remember what?” Jongin was confused and Jongdae leaned closer as he lied down.

Jongdae was fully above him. “I made you remember how to smile,” Jongdae mumbled happily as Jongin smiled again, “how do you feel?” 

“I don’t know,” Jongin admitted, observing the man above him, “shame, humiliation, anger, sadness, confusion, distrust, disappointment, and all of that is directed to me,” Jongdae frowned at Jongin’s blunt honesty. “I don’t think I deserved what I got so far, from you, your brother, not even Mr. Song,” Jongin pushed Jongdae away so he can sit and they sat side by side. Jongdae pulled Jongin in a hug the man didn’t return, “I feel like dying and living, suffering and at ease. I feel full and empty. I feel… I don’t know what I’m feeling, Jongdae.” 

“Feel me,” Jongdae whispered, “feel me if you don’t know what you are feeling,” Jongdae held Jongin’s hand which pulled his hand closer to Jongin’s lips. Jongin kissed Jongdae’s hand without looking away, “Jongin,” Jongdae didn’t have time to say anything because Jongin kissed him, hovering over him as Jongdae lied down.

Jongdae whimpered as he felt Jongin’s hand on his chest, his thumb caressing the fabric which brought tingles all over his body. Deepening the kiss, they didn’t let go until Jongin stepped back, "I don't know what you plan to do to me," Jongin spoke with a hint of worry, "but, don't go." 

Jongdae could only frow. "Jongin," He caressed the man's cheek as he firmly said, "I am not going anywhere," Jongin nodded and rested his head on Jongdae who patted on it, "I am here to help you go through it," Jongin tensed, "I am here to teach you how to smile again."

Jongin looked up, "what if I never manage to?"

"You are already smiling, Jongin," Jongdae encouraged making Jongin smile, "you just need to start doing it by yourself." Jongin nodded and hugged Jongdae who chuckled. "It is bedtime, so I have to go home."

"Don't go," Jongin whimpered as he tightened the hug.

"Tomorrow, I will sleep over, okay?" Jongdae reassured again, "I got to do a lot of chores back home, plus I will need a pajama and a change of underwear," he pushed Jongin away as he said so, making Jongin look at him, "tomorrow, I will sleep over, deal?"

"Deal," Jongin pouted in displease as Jongdae left his side and stretched. Jongdae noticed that and laughed before holding Jongin's cheeks and kissed him a bit loudly.

"Don't pout, my big baby," Jongdae teased as he smoothed Jongin’s hair "tomorrow, I will spend the entire night with you. I will doll you up."

"We will cuddle?" Jongin couldn't help and ask with hopeful eyes to which Jongdae answered with a small nod. 

"See you tomorrow, Jongin," Jongdae promised and went home with a heart filled with warmth. Jongin slept better that night too. 

He woke up happier, which he noticed midway through his day, and also self conscious. His hair was long enough to cover half his back and he considered it better if he cut his hair short, so he spent his lunch break in the barber shop, getting his long awaited hair cut. 

It surprised his customers to see him so fashionably good looking, smiling on top of that, but Jongdae felt the happiest. "Oh, you look the best like this! So handsome!" Jongdae held on Jongin, hugging him, and sing sang that, "such a good sight for my blessed eyes."

Jongin said nothing yet his eyes spoke louder for everybody. He didn't look away from Jongdae since the man got in his house. Chanyeol teased Jongdae about that but Jongin didn't budge. He even made sure to sit where he can look at Jongdae all the time. At some point, Sehun poked Jongin who forcefully looked at him, "can we use your storage room again?" Jongin nodded, handing over the shop keys.

"Lock it from the inside," he warned. Jongin was about to look away when he noticed Chanyeol holding on to Baekhyun, both waiting for Sehun. It was surprising and he looked at Jongdae with a frown, "why is Chanyeol with them?"

"They are together," Jongin frowned further, "Chanyeol and Sehun were a thing when Baekhyun added himself to the equation," noticing the stunned look on Jongin, Jongdae chuckled, "don't ask me how it did work because it did, for two years now."

"Sehun is younger than me," Jongin pointed out and Jongdae nodded, "they treat him like an equal or…" Jongin fidgeted, "the man of the relationship."

"Maybe because he is good at making relationships last," Jongdae didn't give it much thought before but he realized that Jongin was right, Sehun was leading the relationship; "most of the couples go to him for advice."

It made Jongin think that he wasn't going to make whatever between them last and he wished he could ask Sehun for help. He knew he would need a lot of strength to do that. He didn’t notice he was deep in thought until Jongdae reached for his cheek, “are you okay?”

“I am just thinking,” Jongin blushed as he admitted but didn’t hesitate to sit closer to Jongdae when the man made a spot by his side. They said nothing, just looking at each other for a while, “you know,” Jongin flinched because he didn’t notice how loud he was until he spoke, “I mean, I want you to know that I am sorry.”

“For what?” Jongdae looked at him surprised, “What did you apologize for?”

Jongin looked away, “I am sorry for many things to be honest, I am sorry I am…” he looked at his hands that clenched, “I am…”

Jongdae pulled his head to his shoulder and patted it softly, “I know who you are, Jongin, no need to apologize for it,” Jongin held on the other hand, “I accept you the way you are, baby.” 

Jongin blushed at the “baby” and looked up, “but I did many wrong things,” he fidgeted as he looked down to Jongdae’s hand on his, “what if…” a kiss on his head stopped him and he looked at the sad looking Jongdae.

“I hate how insecure you are, Jongin, when it was none of your fault,” Jongin pouted, about to shed his tears, “you are barely seventeen, Jongin, I doubt your decisions were well calculated before you came here and I’m hell of sure that even adults can fuck it up,” Jongdae pulled Jongin close and the man hugged, “you can’t keep dragging your mistakes, Jongin. You can only learn to never fall for the same trap again.”

“I will, I swear,” Jongin whimpered, “just… don’t go.” Jongdae was surprised by the plea, “I don’t want you to go.”

Jongdae chuckled, “I promised I’m going nowhere, didn’t I?” he stood, “let me take you to bed. We can cuddle and talk there.” Jongdae pulled Jongin to the bed and patted on it. They sat opposite of each other to change into pajamas and Jongdae was first in bed. Jongin shyly made his way to hold Jongdae close, “so, tell me, Jongin, what do you think about America so far? Apart from the bad moments, I am sure you liked it.”

Jongin found things to say as he traveled a lot in the US, he saw many places and tried many street foods, he spoke and spoke until he slept, yawning between words as Jongdae stroked his hair. He woke up early in the morning, blinking sleepiness away, before noticing Jongdae sleeping so close. He looked breathtakingly beautiful and Jongin smiled as he leaned to kiss Jongdae’s lips, softly enough to not wake him up, before leaving bed to make breakfast. He found Chanyeol in the kitchen already, “did you sleep well?”

Jongin nodded, “and you?” Chanyeol nodded absently, “Hyung,” Chanyeol noticed Jongin stand next to him, “doesn’t it hurt you that you are three in the relationship?” 

Chanyeol blinked at him confusedly for a moment before smiling knowingly, “I don’t truly mind,” Chanyeol smiled, “Baekhyun is someone I liked for a long time, Sehun is the love my life, and having them both is making me happy,” Chanyeol set the table and offered Jongin to sit, “sometimes, I feel a bit left out but Sehun noticed and tried to make it up to me, but I don’t truly mind that he spend more time with Baekhyun, since my work is taking most of my time,” Jongin nodded, understanding Chanyeol’s point, “as long as he still loves me, I don’t mind anything,” Jongin blushed as Chanyeol smiled lovingly, thinking. Sehun soon showed up and kissed Chanyeol square in the lips; right in front a shocked Jongin, “Morning, Hun,” 

“Morning, my love,” Sehun smiled warmly to Jongin, “good morning, Jongin.” 

Jongin blushed madly, “Good morning,” he looked at them shyly, as they were obviously so in love it sparkled in them. Baekhyun showed up, pulling Jongdae along.

“Morning, beautiful people! Today is a nice day,” Baekhyun sounded extremely happy, “let us eat!” Jongdae sat by Jongin’s side, snuggling, and Jongin realized he could live his life like this forever. 

But he was still so unlucky. Few days after that day, Jongin and Jongdae were walking out of a theatre, leaving Chanyeol, Baekhyun, and Sehun still behind, talking. They were planning to go back to Chinatown when the two men were surrounded. Jongin's initial reaction was to hold Jongdae for dear life as they started insulting them, asking them to leave their country and so on, but when a bat and a pocket knife came in view, Jongin realized he had to save Jongdae, "We will leave, just don't hurt us! We came here for some time but we will leave now."

The punch he received was powerful enough to make him bleed and Jongdae held on him, glaring on the men when a bat swang their way and if Jongin didn't stand, the hit would land on Jongdae's chin but it did hit Jongin's shoulder making him scream but he didn't move away, tightening his protective stance and shielding Jongdae the best he could. 

At some point, Jongin was pulled up from his hair and got a jab in the side with the pocket knife while they pulled Jongdae and beat him up in front of his trashing self. Sehun and Chanyeol were the one alerting the public and soon they were left alone, beaten to their last bone. "Dae, please…" Jongdae was in pain, Jongin could see that, and even if he was in a greater pain, he felt incredibly guilty, "I am sorry, I failed to protect you." 

Sehun and Chanyeol held on him, to make him lie down, Baekhyun took care of Jongdae, and Jongin could only hold on Sehun, "I tried to protect hyung, i swear, they were stronger than me," Sehun was speaking to him but his ears were ringing so hard he couldn't make out what that man said. He could only sob, swearing he tried.

He didn't realize he blacked out until a familiar big hand caressed his cheek, "how is my friend, doctor?" 

"He got a stab deep enough to injure his liver but thankfully it missed it so no major damage," a man said, "he got a fractured shoulder blade and few broken ribs plus a dislocated knee and elbow," The hand on Jongin's tightened and the poor kid whimpered in pain. 

"Jongin? Are you awake?" Jongin opened his eyes to look at David who looked worried, "how do you feel?"

"Jongdae," Jongin tried to move but a pain in the side stabbed him back to reality. David simply held his sane shoulder softly.

"Your injured friend is discharged as we speak, he has a few minor fractures and he is fine," The doctor was kind enough to explain to him, "I suggested they go rest before coming to see you." Jongin was relieved at that. He worried for Jongdae but wasn't ready to face him.

"I will mobilize everyone to find who attacked you," David spoke and Jongin could only look at him lifelessly, "I promise that they will pay for what they did to you, Jongin."

"They…" Jongin wanted to say more but a door opened and soon Jongin could see Jongdae and his brother get in. The old man looked at Jongin's hand on David and Jongdae noticed it too.

Jongin could only close his eyes in shame, thankfully the doctor excused himself from the room. "What are you doing here?" Mr. Kim spoke rather calmly which surprised Jongin

"I…" David noticed how Jongin tensed, "I came to check on him when I read the report, I will make sure to find his attackers," David stood and Jongin was soon hand free, "this is a murder attempt anyway."

The three men said nothing and Jongin soon found himself sniffing, distressed, depressed and hurt. A new hand held his hand and he opened his eyes on Jongdae's disfigured face which made him sob, "Don't cry, Jongin. Please?" Jongdae tried to sound cheerful, "nothing is your fault. You know you did your best to protect me."

"I tried but" Jongin sounded as heartbroken as he was, "they managed to. They did hurt you and kick you, I am sorry. Please don't go, I am sorry." Jongdae laid his head softly on Jongin, unable to hug the man.

"I am going nowhere and I will never leave you, okay?" Jongdae reassured him and he could only pat on Jongin as the man sobbed in distress, tensing his hold on Jongdae's hand. David didn't move from where he was until a nurse got in.

"The patient needs rest," the nurse said as she approached him and Jongin did let go of Jongdae as she stood by his side, "please leave him to sleep."

Jongdae nodded as he stood and smiled to Jongin, "I will visit tomorrow when you wake up. Just sleep now and focus on healing," Jongin's distress became more and more violent as Jongdae walked to the door, and the nurse tried to calm him down, shushing him. Jongdae froze when Jongin started hyperventilating and rushed to Jongin as the nurse left. "Breathe, Jongin. I am here, okay? Breathe." 

"Don't go," Jongin whimpered as he tried to follow Jongdae's orders. Jongdae nodded and inhaled loud for Jongin to follow and exhaled as loud. Jongin didn't calm down per say but when the nurses came in, he was breathing steadier. They drugged him to sleep and Jongdae could finally go home.

His brother didn't say a word until they were alone in the living room, "should I take conclusions from his behavior?" Jongdae paled and looked down, "I know who you befriend, Jongdae, and I heard his story, but I didn't expect you to be one of them."

"I always was," Jongdae admitted, shedding tears, "I always… fancied men." His brother winced and looked away, "however, Jongin is the only one I ever wanted to act on my reality with, because he needed me and you can see he still needs me."

The old man sighed in frustration, "Jongdae, I can't protect you if ever the neighbors complain or try to hurt you," Jongdae nodded, "you don't seem to be scared."

Jongdae chuckled, "I am not scared to die as myself, Hyung," Jongdae looked at his brother, "as long as you accept me and love me as I am, I don't mind the consequences."

The old man pulled Jongdae to a hug and Jongdae smiled hugging back, knowing deep down how worried his brother was. He was soon alone and left the house for Jongin's. He knocked on the door for Chanyeol to open it. 

"Dae, for forsaken sake, why did you come? You need rest!" Chanyeol hurriedly led him to Jongin's bed, "rest."

"I went to see Jongin," Jongdae held Chanyeol's hands as Sehun and Beakhyun got in, on underwear, and sat by his side, "the officer said it was an attempted murder," the trio gasped.

"Fuck," Chanyeol groaned, "we should have never left you alone," Sehun and Baekhyun nodded, looking all grim and guilty.

Jongdae could only smile at that, "don't you dare blame yourselves, Jongin and I wanted to be alone," he held Chanyeol's hand again, "Jongin is eaten with guilt already; I don't need to see you guilty too. In fact, I need your strength right now. Tomorrow, one of us need to remain with Jongin, even if it means to sit outside his room."

The trio frowned and Jongdae gave them a knowing look, "the officer who persecuted Jongin is the officer in charge of his case?" Jongdae nodded and The trio nodded, "we will take turns to keep that man away from Jongin."

"Thank you," Jongdae smiled to his friends before looking at Baekhyun, "are you in the middle of something? I want a cuddle, hyunnie." Baekhyun brightened up and made his way to Jongdae's side. 

"Yeol hyung and I will sleep now to wake up early," Sehun pulled Chanyeol, to whom he gave his most cute and demanding look. Chanyeol could only groan, waving to the resting men as he led Sehun out.

"Don't be too loud," Baekhyun yelled and chuckled as he wrapped Jongdae's waist, "oh, let me undress you," Baekhyun indeed helped Jongdae to take his clothes off and tucked him in bed before making his way to Jongdae's open arms. "How do you feel?" He asked suddenly.

"I am mad," Jongdae caressed Baekhyun's forehead to push his hair out of the way, "that man was holding Jongin's hand when we got in and Jongin looked so ashamed. He was terrified of me leaving him that he had a panic attack," Baekhyun nuzzled Jongdae's neck to calm him down, "doesn't that monster realize he fucked Jongin's mind to oblivion? Doesn't he see that his presence in Jongin's life is the reason behind his state?"

Jongdae winced as Baekhyun jabbed his bruises accidentally, kissing his neck, "calm down, Dae."

"How can I when the man I am falling for is slowly losing his mind?" Jongdae buried his face in Baekhyun's neck. "I feel like I am losing him."

"You are not," Baekhyun forced Jongdae to look at him, "because you won't let it happen, okay? You are Kim Jongdae, you can do it."

Jongdae was surprised for a moment but still managed to smile, cheered up, "you are right, I can."

Jongdae asked for permission from his brother to run the shop until Jongin healed so even when the man was discharged and led to his bed, nobody found it off that Jongdae remained in the shop. 

Entire Chinatown knew about what happened to Jongin because of that so they sent their blessing as gifts and discounts coupons. Jongin was surprised when a side of his room was full, "See how the town loves you? You are the most handsome man here."

"Are you sure they are not mistaken?" Jongdae handed him a gift card, "Dear Jongin, We heard about the stab. My husband and I are happy you survived it and we are sure it is Mr. Song's soul protecting you. May Mr. Song keep protecting you, get well soon. Mr. And Mrs. Yun," the Yun family were living far from Jongin, owning a spice shop. They never spoke to him directly. "They know me?"

"Everybody knows everybody here!" Jongdae teased as he made a way to Jongin's side. "Once you heal properly, you and I will pay them a visit and you will thank every one."

Jongin looked at him in shock, "I have to?"

"You don't seem to believe they know you and respect you, so you will see that with your own eyes." Jongdae chuckled at that.

It took them a week to thank everybody but by the end of that, Jongin's mood improved a lot. Jongdae was happy about it.

Jongin's eighteenth birthday approached and Jongdae decided it was time to make things officiel. He faced Baekhyun with that. "I will ask Jongin to sleep with me on the 14th of this month," Jongdae managed to tell him between two hectic waves of customers. It was new Year's Eve and the shop was packed the entire day. 

Baekhyun nearly dropped a whole serving. "What?" Jongdae was about to speak, "hold on." He served a table and rushed back to his side, "come again?"

"On the 14th, it will be Jongin's birthday," Baekhyun gave him a knowing look, "he will be legal and I want us to be together officially." 

"You could date?" Baekhyun gave them a look and Jongdae rolled his eyes.

"I mean after the date and dinner. I plan to take him somewhere far. A friend of Hyung rented bungalows, we can all go there," Baekhyun smiled, "have a nice picnic and a birthday party then each ride his boyfriend's dick."

Baekhyun went so red it amused Jongdae, "I ride two dicks," Baekhyun pouted and Jongdae simply laughed as he left with a table's serving. Jongdae made sure that Sehun, Chanyeol and Baekhyun would keep the secret.

He asked Chanyeol to pick Jongin to the van while he hang a small notice "Jongin is abducted to celebrate his eighteenth birthday, Mr. Choi's shop is open meanwhile, sorry for the inconvenience."

Jongin woke up as they reached a recluse spot, rather hidden, where there was a bangalow. Jongin was confused but approached the house to see that they did set a huge cover, pillows all over, beers, food. "Happy birthday"Jongin jumped out his skin but chuckled as Jongdae approached him with a cake while the trio laughed, singing obnoxiously. 

Jongin was all tears as Jongdae kissed his cheek, "blow the candles, birthday boy," Jongin did and soon they had a small party, before camping around a small fireplace, snuggling around as they played. Jongin was all laughs. The weather was a bit warm for a January day so Jongdae pulled Jongin to a walk. 

"Today is the best birthday ever!" Jongin lifted Jongdae who chuckled, "thank you for making all this."

Jongdae blushed madly, "they helped me," Jongin smiled as Jongdae mumbled that shyly. Jongdae smiled widely suddenly, "I got you a gift."

Jongin looked at him in surprise, "you didn't have to make me gifts," his eyes sparkled with tears and Jongdae tiptoed to kiss him as the weather grew colder. Jongin melted in it and pulled Jongdae even closer. 

"You are such a beauty, Jongin," Jongdae looked at him in awe, "did I ever tell you that?" Jongin blushed and shook his head, shyly.

They made it back to the bangalow to find that the trio had made food, setting the fireplace, and they ate in a good mood. Chanyeol and Sehun threw jokes around which made Jongin laugh more. The night fell soon and they did set the futons. Baekhyun made himself a spot between Chanyeol legs, curled like the pup he is, while Sehun wrapped Chanyeol and himself warmly. Meanwhile Jongdae made a spot between Jongin's legs wrapped both with a thick cover. They listened to a show on the radio, snickering at many things said. Jongdae didn't realize Jongin slept until the weight on his back became heavier. 

"He slept," Chanyeol remarked when Jongdae fidgeted. Sehun left the cover to help Jongdae into tucking Jongin in bed, "I guess we will sleep now."

"Thank you for today," Jongdae smiled warmly as they did set the futon in a different room. Jongdae curled in Jongin's side, making sure he was warm and closed his eyes. He drifted to sleep for a while when a hand landed on his butt and squeezed it. Jongin let out a content sigh. 

"Jongdae," Jongin was sleeping, Jongdae was fully aware of it so hearing him calling his name was euphoric and Jongdae pulled Jongin closer, smiling. Jongin's hands on his back tightened their hold on him and Jongdae relaxed in it.

It wasn't what Jongdae planned for them but it was better, much better. Jongin's mood improved and even if they didn't step it up, much to Baekhyun's disappointment, they were happier each passing day.

They spent many nights cuddling, sneaking kisses and talking about almost anything until they slept. 

On Jongdae's birthday, things went differently. Jongin disappeared that morning, Jongdae was unaware of why, a bit sad Jongin wasn't the first to wish him a happy birthday, but carried on with a smile as everybody else did.

He had a busy day at work but his brother let him get hours before the shift's end, taking him home where his wife made a beautiful cake. Everybody was there including Jongin who smiled widely, "Happy birthday, Dae Hyung!" 

Jongdae pouted, "where have you been all day? I was expecting you to be the first to say it."

Jongin blushed, "it's a surprise," Jongdae brightened up and had fun, excited to see Jongin's surprise. It was around nine when the birthday party reached its peak. He opened every box with joy but still nothing from Jongin. 

A tap on his shoulder made him look at Chanyeol who smiled blindfolding him, "what is it?"

"One last gift," Chanyeol spoke with clear joy and Jongdae's heart stuttered. His body shook slightly as they walked Jongdae for a while. He was suddenly lifted and yelped but Chanyeol's chuckle made him pout. Chanyeol did set him down and took off the blindfold.

The house was decorated with flowers, rose petals everywhere, and on the other side of the house stood Jongin with a wide smile, holding a velvet box.

Jongdae observed Jongin in the decor, which made him surreal, before he walked toward the love of his life. Jongdae was teary as he announced so bluntly, "you know that I love you, right?"

Jongin beamed, tearing up as much, as he approached Jongdae, "I love you so much, hyung," Jongdae realized he never heard Jongin say so before so his tears welled more, "and because I love you, hyung, that I am giving you this gift."

Jongdae frowned in confusion as Jongin led him to sit and knelt in front of him, "what is it?"

Jongin opened the box, showing two rings, and smiled widely, "will you marry me Kim Jongdae?" Jongdae froze instantly. Marry Jongin? Hell yes, he wanted. 

He never wanted more than to make a family with Jongin someday, "yes," he realized he was sobbing as he spoke and Jongin beamed sliding the ring in his finger then offered the box to Jongdae who picked the ring and noticed the scribbing. 

"김종대♡김종인" was written facing KJD♡KJI in the otherside. Jongdae hiccupped through his joyous chuckle and slid the ring in Jongin's finger. Jongdae jumped on Jongin, kissing him through his tears and holding him lovingly close.

"I love you, Jongin," Jongdae managed to voice out, "I love you so much." Jongin chuckled as he kissed down Jongdae's neck. The kiss became more passionate as they lay in the bed of petals under them. The curtains were down so none of them cared about the neighbors, stripping as they exchanged kisses and caresses. 

In no time, Jongin had marked Jongdae with light bites and kisses before avidly kissing his lips. Jongdae whimpered but gave in, enjoying the sensation of Jongin's skin on his. Jongin paused, tense, silently asking permission as his hand landed on Jongdae's inner thigh. 

Jongdae nodded and smiled as Jongin relaxed suddenly. The younger man slid his hand to cup Jongdae's hard on. It made Jongdae arch his body with a gasp, before he bit on his lips, closing his eyes. Jongin smiled, stroking Jongdae's length slowly, and leaned to kiss the man under him. Jongdae mewled in the kiss, shuddering at Jongin's every move. 

Jongin paused again and left Jongdae who observed in incredulousness only to see him back with a bottle of gel. Jongin lifted him to stand and led him to the bedroom, smiling as he observed Jongdae naked body. Jongdae could only smile and admire Jongin as much.

Jongin led him to bed, made him sit then lay down with his legs on the edge. Jongdae was not really sure what Jongin planned until he felt a moist warm feeling spread in his length and he sat up in shock before arching back, "Ah, Jongin…" he laid back, shivering in pleasure as Jongin blew him up. 

Jongin took his time to please his hyung, getting hard at the sight of his beautiful man shivering in pure bliss, and sliding as much lube in Jongdae's system as possible. 

Jongdae felt Jongin's finger in his walls but was too overwhelmed to react, enjoying what was given to him. He felt pain at some point but Jongin was thoughtful enough to keep him distracted. He did let go as soon as Jongdae filled his throat and smiled facing the man, "hyung taste so deliciously good," it made Jongdae groan, hiding his face in embarrassment when Jongin learned to kiss his neck, "I wonder how hyung will feel inside, hm? Do you want to know how you feel with me inside?"

"God, Jongin…" Jongdae was unaware that Jongin was distracting him still so when he felt the push inside him, he nearly screamed but Jongin was fast to hold his mouth, kissing his neck and sucking in it as he adjusted Jongdae, sliding slowly enough to keep the pain at bay as he filled him up. 

He was balls deep when he let go of Jongdae's mouth. Jongdae whimpered in pain, tearing up, as Jongin kissed him softly, mumbling apologies. The pain took a while to fade but it did and Jongdae nodded to Jongin when the man asked him for the nth time. The first few jabs were painful but as soon as Jongin changed his leg position, Jongdae was hit by an electrifying feeling from his inside. He moaned loudly through his fists as he tried to remain calm and Jongin took it as a cue to speed his pace up. 

Jongdae sobbed his second orgasm out as he felt Jongin fill him up to the brim. Jongin simply laid his forehead on Jongdae's, breathless. "Jongin," Jongin looked at Jongdae who smiled, "how do I feel?"

"Incredible, hyung. You feel incredible around me," Jongin gave him a reassuring kiss on the nose and Jongdae smiled.

"Jongin feels incredible inside me too," he sleepily mumbled, tired, and dozed off as soon as Jongin slided out. 

He woke up feeling sore but less sore than he expected. He was cleaned, massaged too apparently since he smelled the massage oil in his back, and tucked in bed with his clothes on. Jongin was also dressed in pajamas as he snored cutely next to Jongdae. 

The man chuckled happily and looked at their intertwined hands, kissing his  _ husband _ 's hand softly.

"I swear to treat you as you deserve, Jongin ah," he whispered in happiness. 

"Me too, hyung," Jongin sleepily mumbled as he cuddled Jongdae and hummed in content. Jongdae only chuckled softly then he realized that even with no weddings, no legal papers, and no legal status, he was happily married.

They both lived like the married couple they were meant to be. 


End file.
